Looking after the grand kids – a joy or a burden?

Affordable child care can be a massive issue for many working parents and turning to grandparents for support may seem like a great option. But is it really the win/win solution it appears to be?

For parents there are obvious advantages:

• Usually, it’s free!
• You have peace of mind that your children are being looked after by people who love them
• You know that you can rely on your parents and that they will not let you down

And for grandparents too there can be definite attractions:

• You can spend time with your grandchildren on a regular basis and be part of their lives
• You can help your children financially simply by giving your time
• Feeling useful and needed can be very rewarding in itself
• Having regular commitments can give structure and purpose to your week

But there are also pitfalls associated with this type of arrangement:

• Grandparents can feel that they are being taken for granted - their children assume that just because they are retired they have nothing better to do with their time than look after the grandkids
• Looking after young children can be exhausting particularly for older grandparents. There is a huge difference between having the grandkids for a couple of hours on a Saturday afternoon and caring for them for a full working day
• Regular childcare commitments tie grandparents down and as the freedom of retirement evaporates in front of their eyes, resentment may set in
• Parents may feel that the grandparents “take over” in a way that non related childminders would not

The upshot can be a situation where neither the parents nor the grandparent are happy, but where no one wants to speak out for fear of causing a family rift

Which is a pity, because with honesty, sensitivity and proper planning, looking after the grandkids CAN be a win/win solution for everyone.

It just needs to be an eyes open decision made without the aid of rose tinted specs!